Last weekend Mom mentioned that Karmen and I might want to stop doing ths blog. When I asked why, Mom explained she was upset that some people who refuse to make contact with her are getting all the updates here instead of reaching out a loving arm to embrace her in her time of trouble.
Karmen and I discussed it and are still not sure yet what we plan to do. The person(s) in question happen to be relatives and I feel Mom’s hurt. Growing up, visiting these relatives was a refuge for me (and Mom I think), having cousins to play with and a favorite aunt and uncle to dote on me and my sister. Not having a father who actively participated in our family, it was nice to be around a complete family unit.
Now I wonder if this love I felt as a child was all fake. If love between sisters cannot be strong enough to support each other in this trying time, then how can I believe any of it wasn’t from the heart? I call myself disappointed and hurt, and this experience has tested my limits. One of my tragic flaws is my lack of patience, and how my Mom has been so easily discarded by family brings into stark relief how one slight like this can build an impenetrable wall to block out false people.
If we decide to continue the blog, you’ll all know by reading the updates. If not, we’ll post a notice. I’d like to thank those with true hearts who’ve shown love and support to our family during this most difficult of times. Thank you and God bless.
Beth – I don’t think the acceptance and love you were comforted by as a kid was insincere at all. I do think, though, that what we are experiencing is a glaring example of what gives (self-professed) Christians a bad name.
There are many, many people who don’t talk about their faith but live it everyday. The people who walk the talk are the people you want in your life – not the people who remind you how much they know about the “talk”.
It’s easy to be sad, hurt, and angry with this situation. I am right with you. But…we don’t get to sit in judgement of these people. Our task is to move ahead, living and loving, and enjoying the time Mom has left and not letting somebody else’s failures lead to ours.
Forgiveness is difficult.
We are strong.
Pain is a great teacher.
By: karmental on September 2, 2008
at 8:05 am
Karmen – You’re right, but it helps (for me) to get it out first and then deal with it. The world if full of hypocrites, so it would stand to reason that we’d know one or more of them.
By: mudskippers on September 2, 2008
at 5:30 pm
Might the real issue be one of unconditional love?
Do not family members love one another in spite
of human frailities? We don’t stop loving one
another because of human error, but we don’t
have to love the behavior/error itself. What is the
Christian tenet? Love one another as you love
yourself? Redemption is not easilly earned in
a world of revenge. God watch over you and care
for you.
By: Squirrel on September 2, 2008
at 8:18 pm
Hi Karmen & Beth,
I’m sorry that I have not been able to come and visit your mom. I just can’t get away with my new job at Houlton Elementary. I had 3 weeks off this summer (2 of which were in Florida with my family). I do think about you all and what you are going through all of the time. Hang in there and give your mom lots of love, hugs and kisses from me. Take care. Love your cuz, Jodi XOXO
By: JODI SKOOG on September 15, 2008
at 2:38 pm
As I hear less from your mom and read less on
your blog, I feel more frightened and isolated. I
hope that all of you are still coping as best as you can. I never stop thinking about you all.
By: Squirrel on September 19, 2008
at 7:54 pm